January, Reflection, and the Tension We All Feel

I love the practice of reflection — taking a step back and thinking about things in a whole new way. For me, reflection often awakens my activator. From those moments of deep reflection, I can make decisions to change, do things differently, or start something new.

And yet, if I think back over the past two and a half decades, there’s a tension that shows up for most of us during January.

According to Daniel Pink’s fantastic book WHEN: The Scientific Secrets of Perfect Timing, which explores the science behind when to do things, January 1 is what social scientists call a temporal landmark. As Pink explains, “Just as human beings rely on landmarks to navigate space, we also use landmarks to navigate time.”

When researchers analyzed more than eight years of Google searches, they found that words like diet spiked sharply on January 1. The same pattern showed up in gyms. Something about the start of a new year signals possibility — a moment to begin again.

At the same time, science also tells us that by the end of January, most of us have already abandoned our New Year’s resolutions, with only a small percentage actually completing their goals by the end of the year. Have you abandoned one already? 

Work Goals vs. Personal Promises

Then there’s work. The new year often brings a wrap-up of the old year and the setting of goals for the new one. As a career HR professional, I believe that process matters. How do you get anything done — or navigate conversations about what needs to be done (or hasn’t been done) — if you never take the time to set goals?

Personally, I’ve never had much trouble completing my business goals. I enjoy my work. I enjoy achieving things with people.

But on a personal level, time has revealed something else. The promises I make to myself often become discretionary when life starts lifing.

And in the end, here’s what I’ve found to be true — in both life and leadership.

Goals Are an Anchor

If you want to succeed, you have to plan to succeed. To say you want something and set no goals — that’s really just wishful thinking.

In 2026, if you want:

• a better relationship with your spouse, friends, or boss, you need goals

• to increase revenue, you need goals

• to improve your A1C or blood pressure, you need goals

No matter how you spin it, life moves forward — or regresses — on the back of your intention. Goals are simply clearly defined steps that move you toward where you want to be. The key is setting them realistically.

Goals Are Dynamic

As life changes, priorities often need to shift — sometimes on a dime. Goals need to be held, but not so tightly that your grip doesn’t allow for change.

Without a measure of practical wisdom, goal-setting shifts from a plan that points toward a north star to chaos — and chaos is often the foundation for failure.

As a mom and a leader, shifting my approach to goal-setting has been one of the greatest gifts I’ve given my family and my teams.

Have you ever sat back and stared at a list of 40+ projects? All necessary. All important.

In my younger years, my approach was simple: delegate what I could, and if anything slipped through the cracks, put my head down and do my best to achieve as much as possible. That approach eventually led to burnout.

How I Think About Priorities Now

These days, I might still have a list of 40 — but for two reasons.
First, it’s important to understand all the things that could impact the bigger picture.
Second, when it’s time to pivot, I can choose quickly because I’ve already spent time thinking about all the things.

In my business and with my clients, I encourage people to prioritize their goals into categories:

A — must complete; board priority; critical
B — important for organizational or team efficiency
C — helpful but not critical; opportunity for development
D — parking lot

This allows me to hold a list of 40, 50, even 100 projects — and still end up with an annual plan of maybe 6–10 true priorities. It also allows me to pivot quickly when new priorities arise and supports future planning.

If you want to be strategic, you have to think about all the things. But if you want to achieve a goal, you can’t do all the things. Prioritization matters.

The Goals We Ignore

Life goals, when ignored, often catch up with you in ways you’ll always regret.

If you’re reading this, you’re likely someone who wants to succeed in life and career and who cares deeply about people. You’re also likely someone who has — or regularly does — sacrifice your own wellness goals for the sake of your family, your team, or a cause you love.

For a season, that might make sense. But year after year of ignoring your emotional, physical, financial, or spiritual well-being will eventually catch up with you — often as you age.

It shows up as stress.
No time to recharge.
Avoiding conversations.
Failing to invest in yourself.

This kind of avoidance often leaves emotional or physical wounds — some irreversible, others taking years to undo.

Don’t Leave Yourself Out

So don’t miss out on quality things — health, happiness, support, fun, joy — at the expense of other quality things.

Always include yourself in your goals.

Because you matter.

As you head into 2026, set some goals. You need them. But prioritize them realistically, and place yourself at the top of the list.

I promise you won’t regret it.

If you feel so inclined, I'd love to hear...Is there anything you once believed about goals that no longer feels true to you?

Meet The Author

Leah JM Dean is a bestselling author, speaker, coach, and trusted advisor to organizations and leaders across the globe. She is also Founder and CEO of Conduit International Ltd., a people and performance solutions company dedicated to helping organizations, leaders, and women work smarter, live well, and foster meaningful connections. A self-proclaimed recovering workaholic, Leah is passionate about helping her clients find strategies to optimize their work, invest in their wellbeing, and make a lasting impact on the lives of those they touch. Join our community to receive our monthly newsletter—full of practical tips, tools, and inspiration. Sign up at www.leahjmdean.com/join.